Monday, February 27, 2012

Who and What to Bring for ICPC

OK, since I was gone all last week, I did pack a bunch of stuff just in case our son came early. But now that I am home, I want to make sure we have all that we need. Since he will be born in a different state, we need to be prepared to live in a hotel in that state for about 2 weeks to clear ICPC. We are staying a regular hotel right next to the hospital for the first few nights and then moving into an extended stay hotel that is farther away. So, what are the key things you couldn't live without for the first two weeks? We plan to use a pack and play for a bassinet. We plan to use disposable diapers until he grows into one size cloth diapers. And we don't want to worry about washing diapers in the hotel. I have probably way too many clothes for him in the suitcase, but I don't want to be wishing I had something and have no idea if he will be a tiny or somewhat bigger newborn. In fact, my whole set of stuff to bring is way too big, but I am worried about leaving anything behind and then wanting it. We are driving to his birth state, so it's not like we need to worry about fitting into two suitcases.

My other dilemma is WHO to bring for ICPC. My mom, sister, and ILs all want to come to his birth state. Now, if I was giving birth my mom and sister would be right there with me. And E's parents would be around all the time. But being stuck in a hotel room with them seems totally different. I have heard other adoptive parents say they felt trapped in their hotel and having my mom there telling me everything I am doing is wrong will drive me crazy. With the added stress of wondering if the birthmom will take advantage of the revocation period, I am not sure what to tell them. Today my sister found $99 tickets and wanted to get them for her and my oldest niece (who is 14) who really wants to meet the baby.


  1. I would bring more clothes than you think you need. Newborns are messy :-) When we got the call that DD was being born we left with just a car seat. We were only an hour away from the hospital and we stayed at the hospital for 3 days with her. My DH slept and worked in a L&D room and I roomed in with baby and birth mom. DH just made trips to Target and Walmart often when I thought of something I was missing.

    My family really wanted to be there too... but I had no one at the hospital except me and DH. The stress from everyone else would have pushed me over the edge. Could they be on standby and fly out once you leave the hospital with the baby? The first few days were some of the hardest in my life and we had an ideal situation. Feel free to email me fullpricenever at gmail dot com. There's more I can share that would help... but not in a public way!

    I'm so excited for you!!!

  2. While I can't speak to the adoption side of things, I can tell you that I am SO VERY GLAD that I held my ground and didn't have anyone but my Beloved and my mom in the hospital with me (I was in for 6 days). My MIL came to visit one afternoon, the day before we were discharged, but other than that, I asked everyone to stay away. We had a little gathering at our home about a week and a half after we got out of the hospital. I was more comfortable then with caring for her, and wasn't quite the emotional mess I was when she was first born.

    This is an extremely important time for your new family. And with the added adoption details and stressors, if I were in your shoes I would thank everyone profusely, but encourage them to plan on visiting once you've been home for a bit. Placate everyone as best you can with frequent calls and lots of emailed pics.

  3. It's hard to pack for two weeks! Fortunately, newborns don't need much in the beginning-- diapers, clothing, a place to sleep, and bottles/formula/whatever you're planning. We have always used hotel towels as burp cloths when travelling.

    As for people going there, I agree with the PPs, and would probably tell them that you will let them know if/when there is an appropriate time to visit. After 5 days, you might want the company and help, but you just never know how you will feel.

    A welcome home baby shower/sprinkler might be perfect after you're back home and more settled. I'm so excited for you!!

  4. Honestly, I would ask your family to stay back until you know he is 100% yours. The time in the hotel did get a bit long, but it was wonderful family bonding time that you will never get back. As soon as you are home you will have so many visitors and welcome them. We were told we should be the only one that does anything for the baby for the first couple of weeks to help strengthen the bond. Send pictures and texts and call your family when you need them, but enjoy your togetherness!! I hope your wait is short- ours was only 6 days!

    As for stuff, bring plastic silverwave, microwavable plates as most of your food will be take out or something you can throw in the microwave. I forgot to bring dish soap and a bottle brush.

    For you and your husband, bring two of those sleep masks and ear plugs...seriously. Being stuck in a hotel room with an awake baby when one of you should be trying to sleep is very hard!!

    Good luck, I can't wait to hear he is here safely and all yours!!

  5. Good luck!! I agree with PPs! Leave your relatives behind!

  6. The 1 thing I couldn't live without was our Moby Wrap. It will allow you to get out and about (which is totally safe for a newborn as long as y ou're not in super crowded places). But it keeps baby close enough and covered enough that strangers are less likely to come up and try to touch the baby. Also, a GREAT way to bond.

    As far as clothes, I think less is more. Our boys lived in onsies and those littlw gowns for their first several months. Those will fit no matter how big/little baby is and make life much easier, especially at night!

    Also, blankets big enough to swaddle. Those little receiving blankets are darn near useless b/c they're too small. Although the ones from the hospital are big enough for newborns generally. I'd get a nicer, bigger swaddler or two to have at the hospital (help that baby sleep a little longer!).

    Something to make white noise may also be helpful. Good luck!


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