Friday, March 16, 2012


OK, it's time to tell my secret. I am hesitant to verbalize it because then that will jinx things. But here goes.

This is not as hard as I thought it would be. Sure, we had a couple hard nights and were just plain exhausted for the first 3 days. But since then, it's been pretty easy. Not easy, exactly, but not nearly as hard as the first few weeks with a newborn are portrayed. This hit home on our fourth night when we were up with Seven and turned on the TV. The Friends episode shortly after Rachel had the baby was on. And part of the storyline was the crying newborn who makes the new mom miserable. Granted, it was after midnight when we were watching this. But even then, I was watching it thinking, "hey, this isn't really that bad."

I know things are played up for comedic effect. But after two blogs where the writer was worried about having the second child since the first weeks with the older child were so bad (happy due to the precious new baby, but also frustrating and exhausting). And I know many bloggers that I follow who become parents always seemed to disappear for the first month or so. I find plenty of time to blog and have even been commenting on others. Today I was so rested, I felt no need for a nap the entire day.

Am I missing something? At first I wondered if it was because I was not recovering from childbirth in addition to caring for a newborn. But I'm not so sure of that now. He is really a perfect baby. Yes, he only sleeps for a few hours at a time, and then demands to be fed. And all we did today was change his diaper again and again (that whole "worried about no dirty diapers" problem has certainly cleared up!). And I know that what he is like now doesn't mean he won't cry nonstop in a month or so. Please tell me, is the exhaustion and frustration of the first few weeks overplayed?


  1. No, the trials of the first weeks with a newborn aren't overplayed. Many babies really are truly challenging. And others are easy. Yes, the physical recovery (and the hormone hell) after delivery is part of it, but I think you guys have been truly blessed.

    (Ginny was a fairly easy baby, other than the breastfeeding issues. She slept through the night at 2 weeks. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop all through the colicy-months, but it never happened. Teething, however... that has brought out a side of my wee sweet girl that I didn't think existed.)

  2. I agree with Mrs. Gamgee, it all really depends on the baby. Some of the delivery and post-partum stuff does come into play. I had a particularly rough delivery and while I narrowly avoided a a c-section, it took me a few days just to get any strength back. But even still, wouldn't describe those first few weeks as horribly hard. At least the newborn part, the post-partum hormones? That's a whole 'nother story!

    Little Bird is a "high needs" child... he is high maintenance and while a fantastic sleeper at night, he is very demanding (not necessarily fussy) during the day and I am worn out by his bedtime. The older he gets the better it gets though.

    I'm glad Seven is a laid-back baby for you. Much rather read that than that you haven't slept since he was born and you're miserable!

  3. We had the same experience as you. (I'm afraid the next one won't be so easy and I won't know what to make of it.) He pretty much slept 18-20 hours a day and I kept needing people to reassure me that nothing was wrong with him. If he cried he either needed to nurse or be swaddled/rocked to sleep. I was only ever sleep deprived that first year when he got sick. Just enjoy it.

  4. Definitely just enjoy it!!! The first weeks and months can be very different and it really isn't something that you need to experience- because trust me you wouldn't be asking about the exhaustion and frustration, you would be crying a lot and miserable. Seriously. But thankfully babies get bigger and even those of us with high needs babies get a break eventually :D Babies, just like children and adults have different temperaments and personalities, just another thing which makes them unique and special.

    I hope absolutely that things stay this way forever for you but please don't be alarmed if they change as for -some- babies and really just some the first few weeks are the "honeymoon" period and then they become a bit more high needs but that doesn't need to mean anything bad or that it will happen with Seven:)

  5. Enjoy it for sure. All babies and all baby experiences are different. Some are easy babies, some are high needs... just like some toddlers are easy and others through a fit at the drop of a hat... you never know which side of the coin you'll land on for each stage, so take it day by day and enjoy the easy phases and remember the difficult phases are just that; phases.

  6. Glad it's going well! It's really specific to the baby though. I was in a a great deal of pain after delivery, and sore for weeks, so that was hard, too. It was work just to stand up. Plus I had a blood clot issue five days later. Then the nipple soreness, too, like you're experiencing. Medela soft shells helped a lot with that. Some of it is the long-term lack of sleep, too, as it builds. But for us, the hardest was that DS wouldn't sleep without being held, or in the car or stroller. I resisted cosleeping for two weeks, but it got easier once we did. But I spent many sleepless nights in a recliner, holding him, and switching off with DH. The other big thing was that DS nursed every two hours, like clockwork, for a long time. I didn't get stretches of continuous sleep. And during the day, he would cluster feed for 6 hours, nursing then sleeping, on and off.

    He wasn't an easy baby. Though he wasn't very hard either. But the first six weeks were REALLY hard. ESP after two weeks when DH went back to work. It was three months before he was sleeping in 4-6 hr chunks...that takes a toll on you. Only I ever woke at night bc of nursing. Even we had used a bottle, I would have needed to pump so that didn't make sense.

  7. "is the exhaustion and frustration of the first few weeks overplayed?"

    I'm sure you didn't mean that question to sound as condescending as it does. Count your lucky stars to have an easy baby and hope that you haven't totally jinxed yourself.

    Postpartum hormones absolutely play a huge part in the lives of some women. Add to that a baby who is not spectacularly easy and the first few weeks can be devastatingly difficult. So worth it in the end, but hard...

  8. I think it does depend on the baby and also on postpartum recovery. My daughter was a remarkably easy baby. Slept 8 hours by the time she was 7 weeks old, was a great nurser, and a generally happy baby. My postpartum recovery was pretty easy and other than being sore I was up and doing everything within a few days. I do have friends and sisters that had very different experiences from me though. Three Cheers for easy babies! And fingers crossed that #2 (due this summer) is similar to the first one :)

  9. Yup, like everyone else said, I think it definitely depends on the baby. Both of ours were/are easy babies and only ever fussed once they started teething... in some ways, it makes it harder *later* because you're so used to to things being easy, then they start teething, or start waking up because of developmental changes and you're like "What!? Where'd all my sleep go!?" ;) But for now, enjoy, enjoy, enjoy.

  10. I have no experience to pull from, but I wonder if your adjustment is going so smoothly because you are in a hotel...and not at home. I know that when I am at home, I always find something to do/clean/ whatever that I add pressure on myself. When I'm staying in a hotel, your total focus is on Seven...and not getting the mail, dealing with visitors, etc. And maybe this is perfect bonding time for you and Seven that you wouldn't have had at home. IDK, I'm just thinking how your situation is different and not having it relate to the adoption.

  11. Hi. I've been reading your blog for awhile, but I've never posted. Television loves to make everything about babies and pregnancies look worse than it can be. Obviously, some people have a really hard time, but not everyone! Sitcoms are particularly cartoonish in their portrayals of parenting. I've had three healthy, happy pregnancies and three content, quiet babies. I'm not doing anything magical! I hope you really get to enjoy the miracle of babyhood.


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