OK, I started writing this super-long update with everything that has happened, but then realized it was probably a little too detailed and I want to maintain some privacy here. Here are the highlights.
Health-The doctor came exactly at 24 hours to clear him for discharge. but it still took us an insanely long time to leave. Like 7 hours long, which I guess fits the bill for Seven. We had his first pediatrician appointment on Friday and he looked great. She did want us to get him to eat more and he has been doing so.
Birthparent consents-M signed before we left the hospital. When the social worker came to give us our placement documents to sign, she said that someone was able to meet the birthfather and both him and the legal father are refusing to sign. The sense they are getting is that the men were waiting to see what M does. The birthfather did give a DNA sample, so we can confirm paternity. We met with the lawyer on Friday and he said that neither has given any indication that they want to parent Seven. We decided to wait until M's revocation period is up to contact them again.
Meeting birthfamily-M went back and forth, but ultimately decided she wasn't ready to meet us. She did run into E in the hallway at the hospital, but was too overcome with emotion to talk. We did meet her mother and one of her sons and they had a chance to meet Seven. Everyone who has seen M says that she is doing well and feels at peace with the decision. I can understand that something can both feel right and be hard to deal with. We hope she will want to meet us before we leave the state. She did give Seven a necklace and sent some flowers and balloons to our hospital room.
Hotel-We are settled into our hotel. Well, almost. I still can't find the time to unpack my suitcase, but we have everything for Seven in its place. Of course, just as we were getting settled, the toilet overflowed and we noticed the dishwasher still had food and water in it. So there have been some bumps in getting settled. The hotel does have free breakfast and free dinners on Monday-Thursday, which is a bonus we were not expecting.
Breastfeeding-It's going OK. I thought it was going well in the hospital, but trying to use a normal pillow in the hotel was not working out. So E got us a boppy and that has helped improve things somewhat. But my nipples are pretty sore. It is really hard to both get him latched on right and get the tube for the supplement in the right place. It seems I can get one but not the other. Until I started getting sore, I was really enjoying it. And I've noticed that Seven has figured out when he is about to nurse because he will be crying from hunger and then I will sit down and start to get him in position and he quiets down. It is so sweet. It is hard to tell how much milk I am getting. I have tried pumping after nursing him and a few drops have come out. More than when I pumped before he was born. We have given him some bottles out of frustration and exhaustion.
One question I have about feeding him. I know everything says feed him on demand, which should be every 2-3 hours. But it takes him 40 minutes to nurse. So the pattern is that he acts like he is hungry and I start to feed him at 2, he nurses with the supplement until 2:45 or so when he falls asleep or stops eating. But then he is hungry again at 3:45.
Another question is how do I know when to switch breasts? Since the supplement is always there, he will be happy to stay on one breast until he is full or asleep. Should I force him to change sides? I was doing that, but since it is so hard to get it right, if he is latched well and the tube is in the right place, I don't want to disturb him to try again.
Sleeping-We are not doing so well here. The first night home of the hospital was horrible. He wouldn't sleep unless someone was holding him. The second night we tried the swaddle blankets and it was better. But when even that won't work, we have taken turns holding him so one of us could get some sleep.
Firsts-He had his first visit to P.anera (in between the doctor and lawyer appoints on Friday), his first visitor (a friend of a friend who I connected with because she also adopted and they happen to live near where he was born), his first bath, and his first Duke game (they won!). We are about to head out for his first walk and first trip to S.tarbucks. I know I am not supposed to drink coffee, but I need it. And I did learn that the one thing M asked for someone to bring her in the hospital was a mocha frappaccino. So I'm betting that this is something he is used to!
Fever, sleeplessness, septic, landscaping
2 months ago