Monday, January 30, 2012


Thanks for everyone's thoughts on breastfeeding. I think I am going to give it a try, but without taking any supplements. So, now I'm looking into pumps to start getting ready prior to the birth and the lact-aid system to use as a supplement once he is born. Be prepared to learn more about my adventures as this continues...

In other news, I'm having a bit of a crisis of confidence the past two days. There is not really anything rational that is putting doubts in my head. But the past week has been a big one in my family. Not one, but two nieces have been born. Both my sister and sister in law were due for babies in February and decided to come a bit early. Of course, I am happy for my siblings and the girls are quite adorable, but this had made me stress about what will happen in our situation. Long-time readers may remember the depression my younger sister's first child left me in. And some those of you who were around 9 months ago may remember the double whammy of getting both pregnancy announcements in one day. So I guess the fact that these births did not leave me in a crying lump on the floor should be seen as an improvement.

But ever since getting the news of my nieces' births, I've found it much harder to hang on to my "positive thinking-stay excited" that I have been using to deal with this period of waiting. I want our son to have the excited, much anticipated welcome that he deserves, so I've pushed the negative "what if" thoughts down to focus on the positive. But now they are bubbling up despite my best efforts.

Deep down, I am scared that this will not turn out the way I hope. I know I use the term "my son," but the truth is that right now he is not. I've given him a name when I have no right to and placed all my hopes and dreams here, but everything can come crashing down again.


  1. Hoping and praying everything turns out for you and you will be introducing us to your son soon!

  2. It is totally understandable for you to be feeling down and conflicted right now. Seeing others achieving what you have longed for is hard, even when you have every reason to be hopeful. About halfway through my pregnancy with Ginny, a much younger family member announced her pregnancy after just going off bcp and I confess that I was a mess about it. And I was a mess about being a mess about it (if that makes any sense at all).

    Hoping and praying that your confidence returns, and that the preparations for your wee little one continue on smoothly.

  3. (((HUGS))) Missy.

    I wanted to send you the link to a blog of a woman who just brought home her baby girl thanks to adoption - and she induced lactation with some success:

    I know you have lots of info, just thought hearing another woman's success story would help :)


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