Welcome to ICLWers! My background is on the left.
Life is not fair. Things could be so different for us right now but yet our life continues the same pattern of working, dinners out, adult-oriented activities, house cleaning, etc. It's not that I don't enjoy what we do together, I just wish it was different.
We started our journey nearly 9 months ago. If things went smoothly, we would be having a baby right now or at least very soon. We would have had family and friends dote on us and make us feel special. Instead their attention is elsewhere.
We would have had a chance to make a big announcement of a pregnancy. Instead someone else made everyone excited and looking forward to the future.
We would have had a chance to show off an ultrasound and make another announcement, this time of a baby's gender. Instead someone else is being showered with pink dresses and blankets.
My family would be gathering around us as the end approached to wait anxiously with us. My facebook page would be filled with anticipatory congrats from friends eager for our next announcement. Instead each of your new status updates is another reminder that this is not my time. A reminder that I don't know if my time will ever come.
Welcome to the world, Mackenzie. I promise to love you as much as I love my other nieces (and nephews, too). But right now it's a little hard to feel happy.
1 week ago