Sunday, March 22, 2009

A new niece

Welcome to ICLWers! My background is on the left.

Life is not fair. Things could be so different for us right now but yet our life continues the same pattern of working, dinners out, adult-oriented activities, house cleaning, etc. It's not that I don't enjoy what we do together, I just wish it was different.

We started our journey nearly 9 months ago. If things went smoothly, we would be having a baby right now or at least very soon. We would have had family and friends dote on us and make us feel special. Instead their attention is elsewhere.

We would have had a chance to make a big announcement of a pregnancy. Instead someone else made everyone excited and looking forward to the future.

We would have had a chance to show off an ultrasound and make another announcement, this time of a baby's gender. Instead someone else is being showered with pink dresses and blankets.

My family would be gathering around us as the end approached to wait anxiously with us. My facebook page would be filled with anticipatory congrats from friends eager for our next announcement. Instead each of your new status updates is another reminder that this is not my time. A reminder that I don't know if my time will ever come.

Welcome to the world, Mackenzie. I promise to love you as much as I love my other nieces (and nephews, too). But right now it's a little hard to feel happy.


  1. I'm so sorry Missy, that is so so so difficult. Especially when it's close family... seems harder than when it's a friend, for some reason.


  2. I am so sorry Missy. I am sure that seeing it so close to home just makes it hurt much worse. I hope you get your BFP soon, and that this wait finally has an end for you.

  3. I loved my niece to death but it was very hard to be around her. I was ttc the same time she was conceived. 4 years later we are adoptive parents. I would tell myself it wasn't my time and my time would come. I didn't fully believe it. But I can say that our path has made us very happy. Things didn't result in a pregnancy but parenthood. I will come back and visit.

  4. I think everyone who has fertility issues feels this way at some point. Don't be hard on yourself, and only do for your niece what you feel you can do, and don't feel bad if you find you need to pull back. In the two years we've been trying, I've gone up and down, as far as my ability and willingness to be around small children. Sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's not, depending on what's going on with us. At first I felt guilty, but then I realized that if I didn't take care of my mental health, no one else was going to. Good luck to you with your journey.

  5. I know how you are feeling. I just got the call -- my niece is being born tonight. It's my first, and probably the hardest, as my husband and I have been TTC for almost 7 years.

    I am sorry for both of us -- this situation is so very difficult to manage.


  6. Hello! I can totally relate -- I've got nieces and nephews coming out of my ears. From younger sisters and sisters-in-law. Blech.


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