Here is a dilemma regarding preparing for adoption that I don't know what to do about. Every piece of advice I get says to not have a baby shower until after a baby is here. Or at the very least a match. And from what I can tell from my family, it is hard for them to get excited in the abstract. In the brief few days we had a match, people were talking about buying us all kinds of stuff. But then all the excitement died down. And for good reason as I didn't want to think about the failed match either. But now I want to start preparing again. My MIL purchased a few "big" items when we had a match and she said the rest of the things she will buy for us are clothes and smaller, more personal things. And with repeated prompting, I was able to get my mom to buy us a crib. I say repeated prompting because when we had a match, she volunteered to buy us a crib. We had not yet picked one out before the match fell through, so she never did. But we did put together a registry and it took a few times mentioning it before she got the idea that we do still want to buy a few big items. So now we have a car seat and a crib.
But there are a couple of other bigger items that I want, such as a glider chair. I could imagine some family members pulling resources together to buy one for us. But they won't come up with that idea on their own until a baby shower is planned. And yet I will want one sooner rather than later, especially since BRU says it can take a month after the order is placed to get it. I know there are few things you need in those first few weeks, but if a shower does happen for the first month or so, and then it takes a month to get here, that is a long period of time. Plus, knowing myself, I will already feel bad about now being able to breastfeed, I want to at least be able to rock my baby. So I am tempted to just buy the glider myself.
5 days ago