Well, here we go again! We have another match. This baby is due in mid-February, so only a month away. I don't want to give too many details, but there do not seem to be any health problems to be worried about. The gender is unknown at this point. We have not spoken with the bm directly yet.
I am, however, having trouble getting excited. Partly it is due to our one failed match and so trying to be cautious. But I also have concerns about the agency. We found this agency through an online networking site that serves as kind of a FB for the adoption community. They posted a situation they were having trouble finding families for, and we responded. Things happened pretty quickly. There was nothing in the details of the situation or in the requirements/fee structure of the agency that gave us any pause, so we proceeded. But with a couple of comments made as we got closer to a match, I am getting concerned that they are putting a pretty hard sell for adoption on the woman. And that they don't think the men get any say.
So we don't know what to do. On the one hand, we feel pretty strongly that we don't want to put too much pressure on the bm and bf and want them to feel that this is really the best decision. On the other hand, we are not sure if we should let the agency be what stops us. We don't know everything and maybe some of the comments that concern us are more a reflection of the agency trying to make us feel comfortable than anything else.
I was just talking to a friend the other day about how the more we interact with agencies, they more confident I feel in our main agency because I am sure they work with women to explore what it would take to parent the child and not just focus on adoption. But in my discussions with our main agency, they also say that they find that demand for their services has gone down as women are more attracted to these other types of agencies that promise the world to women who choose adoption. I wish there was some way we could change that. I don't want to be part of that, but then again, if this woman has chosen this particular agency, what difference would it make if the baby came to us or someone else?
5 months ago