As I mentioned before, the caseworker at the agency was the one thing that was keeping me from being excited. I mean, I'm sure it has to do with having one failed match and not wanting to be disappointed again. But there have been a number of comments by the caseworker that made me question whether this is the type of agency we would choose on our own. She made other comments that gave me some peace, but the others were still weighing heavily.
Tonight we had a long chat over sk.ype with the caseworker and I felt my heart lightening as we spoke. We heard more about the bm and the process by which she contacted the agency and how this caseworker came to be involved. We also heard the story of how she came to choose us. And I feel so much more at peace that she feels she is making a positive choice. Not that this is a piece of cake for her, obviously, but she feels secure in her decision and is not being pressured. I can't tell you how much that lifted this weight from me. And, truth be told, I also felt better when I learned that the state in which the baby will be born requires an independent social worker (not someone from the agency that is involved in this) to have a private talk with the bm before she signs her surrender document to ascertain that she is making an informed and free choice. I did not know about that piece of the process before.
Now that it has been a few days since our match, the bm is still feeling good about us, although is still hesitant to contact us. I wish we could talk to her or even email, but I understand that these types of conversations are awkward. So we will see how things progress.
4 weeks ago