Records

I need you advice. We had our first appointment with a new RE a few weeks ago. At that time, the appointment was not as useful as it could have been since he had not yet received my medical records from my previous RE. He did get my husband's and did an ultrasound and medical history from us, but wanted to see what my lab results and post op notes from my lap. I went back to my previous RE to get them to send the records again, but as of Wednesday, they had not yet gotten them. Long story short, my first attempts to request the records went to the wrong office and then I used the wrong form at the right office. I think on Wednesday I finally did it right, but am not sure if that is enough time for the records to make it over to the new RE.

In the meantime, DH had his sperm penetration analysis. Our follow up appointment is Monday afternoon, when we will get the SPA results and decide what our next steps are. DH thinks we should reschedule if my records did not make it over there yet because he does not want to pay this doctor if he won't have all the information he needs to be really helpful. I am hesitant to put off this appointment. What would you do?

RE update

I'm not sure what my problem is. Normally I'm a confident, accomplished woman. Sure, I'm introverted naturally, but that doesn't mean I appear to be a stuttering fool around other people. But I have this thing with doctors. I get very intimidated by doctors. It is not just this doctor, but all doctors. I don't know what it is. I enter with a set list of questions to ask and things I want to know and somehow I end up almost limping out the door.

So even though I did get all my questions answered and we have a plan, I still left my RE's office today feeling down. It didn't help that she had a resident with her to witness my meltdown. Here's the story.

We talked about whether to continue with more diagnostic tests or move to IUI. I am officially unexplained, although I have a couple of "iffy" issues. She thinks I might have a variant of PCOS even my hormone/insulin levels don't suggest that. DH had one low SA, but then his second was OK so she's not too concerned about that. My HSG showed my left tube was blocked, but she doesn't know why and is not even sure it is really blocked b/c she said about half the time the HSG shows it is blocked it is just a spasm or something (to which my DH replied, then why waste your time on that test? Good question). Anyways one tube is fine and so we should be good with that. The next step would be a lap to figure out what exactly is going on with the left tube and also to check for endo. But I don't have any other signs of endo so she doesn't think I have that and honestly she didn't seem that concerned about the left tube.

I did get the results from my progesterone test when I took femara and it was low-lower than when I ovulate on my own. So that drug is out for me. I also asked about my FSH level b/c that is one test she never did. She doesn't think it is necessary b/c it won't change treatment anyway.

So with her not thinking we need to do any more diagnostic at this point, we are moving on to IUI. That is what we wanted to do anyway. We are going to do IUI with clomid right now. And this is where I had another point of freaking out. I assumed there would be a cycle of tests or preparation or something so that the IUI cycle would actually not be for a while. But she's ready to go next cycle. So things are really speeding up.

One thing this RE said that rubbed me the wrong way. As our meeting was ending, I mentioned that I was nervous b/c it seemed like a big step and I don't like taking medication anyway for other things. Her response was that there is still a pretty good chance we could have a baby on our own but it would likely be a while and the treatment makes sure we can have one when we want. As if we might get over this whole baby thing as just a phase we went through. Maybe I should look into this other fertility clinic in my town. Basically the options for IUIs are her and one other clinic. I do think she is good as doctors go and when we were in the diagnosis phase, my insurance was better with her. But insurance won't cover the IUI regardless of who does it.

RE appt today

I have an appt with my RE today. After several rounds of clomid and then femara, we are ready to move on to IUI. We've talked about this a lot and know it is what we want to do. But still I'm nervous and hesitant. Logically I know that it will likely be a while before we actually do the IUI and that we've been in this for a long time already, but emotionally it feels so sudden and like such a big step.

I think my hesitation is also due to my fears that it won't work. The planner that I am, I'm already thinking through the next several steps. DH and I both don't feel comfortable with IVF and the idea of having our embryos just hanging around. So right now our plan is that if IUI doesn't work, we will move on to adoption. But then this feels so final as well. What if it doesn't work? Will I be able to face our options then? As we get closer I already have had some different thoughts in my head about IVF. For example, would we think differently if we agree to eventually transfer all embryos? But then wonder I if these second thoughts are just my way to find a rationalization for something I'm not that comfortable with. I know there is a big difference between IUI and IVF both in terms of intensity of the experience and everything entailed. But still I lump them together. The funny thing is, I don't think my worries are that related to the real concern of multiples. I know DH is worried about that. I'm more focused on the fear of what if it doesn't work and what do we do then?

On another note, there is one reason I'm looking forward to this appointment. At our last appointment, she told me it would help if I lost weight, even if I lost 10 pounds. Well, I did that. Actually, I lost 15 pounds since then, but stress-related eating due to a busy period at work and Halloween candy put me back at a net of 11 pounds. I know other people have noticed. Let's hope my dr does as well.

HSG

I had an HSG today. I knew going in that you get bad cramps with one, but don't believe anyone who says it's just like menstrual cramps. Do any of you get cramps that bad every month? I couldn't make it through the day if I had that every month all day long. Luckily the real pain only lasted a few minutes. I did feel a little light-headed after it was over, but improved quickly and even made it to my yoga class after work.

Unfortunately the results were not that great. My right tube was normal, but the left one didn't show up at all. The RE was not that concerned because it only takes one tube for fertility. And she wasn't sure if the left tube was blocked or just had a spasm and so didn't show up. But still I left wishing for a better test.