Thursday, January 20, 2011


Today I had conversations with two home study agencies. I originally thought these organizations were also placement agencies, but it turns they don't work directly with birthmothers. They handle the home study and post placements and give us advice on finding a placement agency and other things to do to find a placement.

Just chatting with them for a few minutes gave me much more insight into this whole process and I think I learned some things regardless of whether we end up using them. So in all it was a productive day in terms of our adoption progress. I am starting to less like I am in way over my head. We still have many more people/agencies to talk to before making a decision, though.

One thing both agencies told me today is that the key to finding a placement relatively quickly is telling everyone we know that we are adopting. Especially people who work in schools or hospitals or similar organizations. The idea is that you never know when someone will hear about a friend's cousin (or whatever) who has an unexpected pregnancy and might be considering adoption. I understand that, but it does make me a little nervous just because it turns the whole zone of silence that accompanies infertility on its head. Not that being infertile should ever be a source of shame, but yet that is how I experienced it. It was not something to discuss even with close family members. Let alone everyone on my Twitter feed. I need to find a way to change that.


  1. Terry and I choose to go right to our local agency for Childrens Aid. We have been doing the classes etc through them. It's a difficult, scary journey, so many questions. But so exciting at the same time. You will love it.
    It took me a long time to find my voice when it came to my infertility. But when I did, it was such a relief. Now I have no problem telling people we chose adoption, rather then treatments for our infertility. I am a rather open book about it. I started with close family, then friends and branched out from there. It's hard to get them to understand. As long as you find your voice you will be fine. :)

  2. I will be thinking of you, Missy! Good luck with spreading the word and the feelings associated with it--hopefully the whole process will be therapeutic, if uncomfortable at first . . .

    If I hear of anyone with an unexpected pregnancy thinking of adoption, I'll pass the word along--in fact, my cousins are trying to adopt as well so I'll be thinking of both of you. I hope your baby finds you soon!

  3. We are just beginning the adoption process too. We are just in the application process but the agency we're using does the homestudy, seminars, and placement. I look forward to reading more about your journey! Happy ICLW!

  4. How interesting. Glad to hear the interviews today went well!

  5. I'm glad to hear that your appointments went well. We're also adopting, but we have not shared the news with anyone beyond immediate family and the close friends who wrote our reference letters.

    We just finished with our home study and are now waiting for a match.

    I hope that your decisions are smooth and stress-free!

    ICLW #199


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