Thursday, July 28, 2011

A change

So...just when I post about how something can change at any time with our match...something changes. Don't worry, it's not anything bad. But we did get an update from her new doctor. Who is now saying the baby is a boy. I guess doctors can sometimes make mistakes about that. The first one was in an ER so maybe they were just in a rush and didn't take time to look around properly? Anyway, we had decided to stay firmly in the gender neutral side of things just in case something did fall through. That, plus the fact that I think society will do enough to form gender stereotypes that we don't need to start an avalanche of pink or blue right now.

Which brings me to how I feel about this change. Disappointed is not the right word, but it is different. If you had asked me last week, I would honestly say no preference over the gender. But two days spent picturing myself with a daughter and taking special notice of every little African American girl I passed, now has me thinking, "what do I know about boys?" But still there are some positives with this change. For one, my MIL's reaction to our news that we were matched with a girl was to shout "pink, pink, pink!" Yeah, that left me cringing. Hopefully now she will be more on board with gender neutral stuff.


  1. I am sorry that there has been a change, but I am sure you will be a fine mother to a boy as well as a girl. Now you just need to picture yourself with a son!

  2. Let me just tell you (and of course I am biased a little) Little boys are the BEST. I have my son. My sister has 2 biracial children--of the 2, her son is absolutely the BEST kid ever! They may not get to wear the sweet, big flower bows, but now a days, Car.ters, Osh.Kosh, Gym.boree, Cra.zy 8 is making some fabulous boys outfits! From experience, Car.ter's newborn & crawler's outfits hold up the very best-hands down! Also, when it's time for this,their underwear for boys holds up great too! I love my boy and I'd have 4 more just like him if I could! Congratulations!!!

  3. I have a boy and a girl and I love them both and have gone through phases of preferring one gender over the other. I think your disappointment probably has more to do with expectations, and possibly if you thought first the baby was a boy and then found out it was a girl, you'd feel the same. I think it's that you start imagining a child that's "yours" and then you find out it's not. I'm probably not explaining it well.

    I was also FIRMLY in the gender neutral camp until I had my twins, and then I started getting annoyed that everyone thought my daughter was a boy. I think only one person ever assumed my son was a girl. My daughter still doesn't have much hair at one year, and if I dress her in blue (even if it has ruffles and bows and ribbons), I get comments about my adorable boys. So I have bowed to the gender stereotyping pressure quite a bit.

  4. Our second false start was a girl and we were so excited. Then we found out about our little boy and he is amazing. I understand the feelings you had though.

  5. I completely understand your feelings. You had just started to really picture your new child and part of that has been that she was a daughter. Now you find out that she is actually a he and it takes a little while to adjust. I will say that doing biracial boys hair is much easier! Which is actually a bigger deal then you might think:)


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