Have you heard about this new reality TV show with Giuliana and Bill? I'm a fan of Clean House on Style and while watching it one day, saw an ad for the second season of this reality show. It follows the life of this cute married couple: Giuliana (hereafter referred to as G) and Bill. G is apparently an entertainment news person. I had never heard of her before. Bill was the first winner of Donald Trumps Apprentice.
If you like to get your entertainment with a little bit of intellectual stimulation thrown in, then this show is not for you. G is vapid, cutesy, and annoying. Bill plays the straight man to her craziness. If you want to not think and just laugh at stupid antics for your entertainment, then you might want to give this show a try. You might be able to tell, the general thrust of the show is not for me. Not that every show should be as complex as Lost, but she can't seem to take anything seriously.
Including infertility. Which is how I became interested in watching the show. The season premiere previews were hyping up their baby making adventures and it appears this will be the topic of the season. Episode 1 they babysat for a friend to see if they are fit to be parents. Even though the demands of the baby meant she was not able to study up for some award show red carpet walk, G decided she is ready for a baby (because, let's face it, how much studying do you need to do to ask what designer someone is wearing?).
Episode 2 they saw a doctor about fertility. They never said how long they were trying, just that it was taking longer than they expected. Despite the fact that the whole show is a bunch of crazy antics and stupid comments (including G prancing around in maternity underwear), I found it a pretty honest portrayal of what a couple with IF would experience, at least in the early stages. They go to the doctor and get tests run. Sex becomes something to schedule and stress about. They are confused, unsure, frustrated. These feelings come out most in the interviews they do rather than the reality footage. But they are there. While I don't wish IF on anyone, I find myself really hoping they have a long struggle with IF just so viewers can see what happens.
The one aspect that I don't relate to is that they tell everyone they see about their difficulties (OK, that, and G's reaction when she was told she needs to gain 5 pounds to help their chances; it might be worth watching the show just for that). G's assistant is enlisted to schedule when they should have sex. They bring it up immediately with a couple on a double date and find out that couple has been trying for several years. They even tell the guy selling magazines that they need Hustler so Bill has some inspiration for his part of the testing. These people have a real oversharing problem. Of course, I wouldn't ever put my life on national television, so I guess the oversharing thing was already a given.
Despite my surprise at how open they are with everyone they meet about their difficulties conceiving, I find it refreshing. What a concept, to think of IF as something to mention in everyday conversation. Not something that should be whispered, hidden, mentioned only among the two of us. Why is this such a taboo topic? If we could find a way to talk about it, make it normal, maybe more women and couples won't feel like they are going through this alone. I find myself thinking of G and Bill's friends who have been trying for several years and wondering how many (or more likely how few) of their friends have been willing to talk about this with them. Or how many would change the topic or forget about it or think it is best if it wasn't mentioned at all. Like if we didn't talk about it, it would just go away.
But IF doesn't go away for the couples who live it everyday. And not talking about it might just make more couples feel they are broken or not normal, rather than part of a community. Could you imagine a world where we opened up conversations about IF that didn't devolve into octomom gossip? Maybe we can crack this taboo and feel normal again. And that leaves me thinking G and Bill have something to offer us after all.
6 days ago