Thursday, August 4, 2011


Our match came about by us hearing about an agency that is not an agency with which we were officially signed up. But they were looking for parents for this situation and we were open to the details. It all happened pretty quickly and so while I did talk with the agency about their placement fee, we did not talk about the payment structure. The fee is actually on the low end of agencies. Now they sent us their policy and they want half now and half one month before expected birth (about one month from now). This seems not standard practice as most agencies I have seen allow half to not be paid until placement.

So now we don't know what to do. We don't feel comfortable with this payment structure. But they are expecting us to show up with a signed, notarized contract and large check on Saturday when we get to meet the birthmother in person. There is a process to apply some funds to another adoption, but it is not much. We are not sure what to do. Part of what is making us uncomfortable are some of the responses we've gotten from the agency in response to our concerns that seem completely incompatible with what we've learned elsewhere. They have never had a birthmother decide to parent. Really? That is a little too confident given how risky adoption is. They have never heard of an agency that waits until placement for the remainder of the fee. I can point to at least 3 that wait even until finalization. Please pray that our path becomes clear.


  1. Praying...

    It sounds a little sketchy to me. Is it possible to get references from parents who have gone through their process?

  2. Our agency asks for almost the entire amount up front (as soon as we're matched). But, we get it back if the match falls through. Is that the same for you? If it's not, then I would feel very uncomfortable with the payment schedule. So long as you have a guarantee that you will get the money back if the match fails...I wouldn't worry about it.

    Feel free to e-mail me if you have any questions!!

  3. We pay everything at match as well. I think it's pretty common. So 1/2 at match isnt bad.

  4. I hope you figure it out, Missy! I'll be thinking of you guys!

  5. You might find it helpful to talk to other people who have used that agency. I have found and to be very helpful. I agree with Rain that as long as you get it back if the match falls through, it's probably okay. Hoping things move forward in the best possible way!

  6. It is a very difficult decision to make. We had this same problem with false start #1 and #2 and finally decided not to work with this agency. Most up front, no refunds, but if it fall through it went towards another adoption. However, our guts told us this was not the agency for us and so very glad we made that decision. Good luck.


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