Thursday, August 11, 2011

Failed

Well, I called the agency today with the intention of starting the backing away we decided on after much discussion. But before I could say anything, the caseworker said the reason she hasn't been returning my phone calls is that the birthmother is not returning hers. Basically, something happened in the birthmother's life last week and since then she has been noncommittal about meeting us in person or otherwise moving forward with the adoption. The caseworker is getting the vibe that this change last week is making her rethink the adoption.

So we are not pursuing this any further. And we are not sure if we will pursue anything further with this agency at all. We made it clear that we do not feel comfortable taking on all of the financial risk, so if they have a baby who is already born or decide to change their payment structure so that we would not be that at risk, we would like to be shown to other situations they may have. But otherwise we have found a line we don't want to cross again.

Back to square one for us. Well, not quite square one since we did learn something from this experience. But back to the waiting game. How do we feel? Extremely disappointed. But overall, we feel OK and that this is the right decision. I reserve the right to be a sobbing mess once the due date rolls around. But I think we will be OK.

10 comments:

  1. :( Missy, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry :( You are very much allowed to cry and be mad at any time. You are learning so much, which is good, but I wish this could have been *it*.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm so so sorry Missy ((HUGS))

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is so awful and I think you should totally reserve the right to be a sobbing mess anytime you feel like it. My heart goes out to you. Hoping the right one comes around soon.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am so sorry, Missy! I hope your baby is waiting for you right around the corner. Thinking of you!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I am so sorry!!! That must be so difficult, I can't even imagine. My thoughts are with you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am sorry that this has happened. There are many things to learn from this though, and next time you will get your baby
    x

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm so sorry Missy. Learning valuable lessons for the future doesn't make any of the present easier. Praying.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I am so sorry, Missy. What a roller coaster of emotions you have experienced over a short period of time. Feel free to sob as needed. Thinking of you and hoping a successful match is just around the corner.

    BTW, just so I understand correctly - you are still good with YOUR agency, right? This was just another agency that had a situation?

    ReplyDelete
  9. Just curious- what state was this agency in? You don't have to name the agency. Sounds similar to our false starts so just wondering. It's very hard, but you will forget all this pain the decisions caused you when you are handed your bundle. Better to go through it earlier in the process than after the baby arrives. Many hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I am so sorry!! You have every right to feel hurt, sad, and angry. I know another placement is in your near future and I am so excited for you to have a successful match.

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...