Worst timing ever

So yesterday I actually went to bed feeling well emotionally, and even some hope this cycle might work. And then today I woke up vomiting. I was worried it was due to my meds, but I called the nurse and she didn't seem to think so, especially since I have no other symptoms. The plan is still for me to trigger tonight and the IUI is scheduled for Thursday.

The good news is that I am now sure this illness is not due to my meds. The bad news is that I know this the hubster is now sick as well. Ugh.

Magic number three

Things went well at my monitoring appointment today. The two follies on my left are developing, and one on the right has caught up. I trigger tomorrow for IUI on Thursday.

Is it over yet?

I am not sure how I am going to make it through the holidays in one piece. It's only 2 days past Thanksgiving and I've already broken down in tears once. I moped around the house all day today. I am usually excited to go shopping and put up decorations, but now I am approaching it as a task to get done. Everything related to Christmas feels like a chore. We were at the mall and I found some nice men's sweaters and figured, "hey, let's buy one for each male on our list." I didn't care so much whether they would like them, but just to check off those names. I put up the outside lights today because the weather was nice and it had to get done. I don't even want to open the rest of the boxes with our inside decorations.

Remind me again how many days I have left until this can all be over?

Shopping

After re-reading my last post, I thought it was pretty ironic that rather than wake up at 4am to go shopping, the first thing I did this morning was get an ultrasound. It's like my own little early bird special. There are a couple of follies on the left side that are growing, and a few on the right that are not quite big enough to measure. So this is a bit different for me to have the left outperforming for the first time. I am sticking with my current dosage and going back on Monday morning.

The hubby and I did spend afternoon in the mall. We did get a lot of our shopping done, but are now really missing the outlet mall near us that closed due to the flood last spring. It's not looking like it will ever come back, and the mall we went to today just wasn't as nice.

Happy Thanksgiving

Well, the pies are made, the turkey is in the oven, and the parade is on TV. I am looking to having my family over later, but still when I think of what I am thankful for, I just think I am glad this year is over. Soon the meds and needles and uncomfortable appointments will be over. I'm not sure what will happen when they are over, but we will cross that bridge soon.

I know I do have many blessings. A great husband, a comfy house, financial security even with all the money being thrown at a pregnancy. But with all my family preparing for for B1ack Friday shopping, everyone is asking me what I want. I don't have any big gift I am hoping for this year. There is only thing I want, and money won't buy it.

Once more

OK, we started our third IUI with injectibles cycle yesterday. I went today for my baseline and got the all-clear. I start at 112.5 dose tomorrow. First monitoring appointment is the day after Thanksgiving. I guess I can't go Black Friday shopping. Or I need to get it done by 9:00!

Everywhere

It seems like everywhere I look is a reminder of infertility. Yesterday I was organizing files in my office and ran across some old examples from a statistics course I took. The example right on top was looking at the relationship between fertility and education. I should have paid attention then that continuing my education would reduce my fertility! (I know, I know, correlation is not causation, but still).

And then today I put a piece of furniture for sale on Craigs1ist. I called one interested person back, but she apparently left her work number and I called after hours. To some type of pregnancy support line. Ugh. Yes it does feel like I have a pregnancy emergency, but probably not the kind they are talking about.

Holidays are here

The holidays are here. And so are the feelings of sadness and longing that most infertile have during this time. It seems to start earlier this year. I was grocery shopping when my mom called. She brought up the difficulty of scheduling our tradition of baking cookies with my gramma because of my cousin's work schedule. And then she mentioned my other cousin will be bringing her toddler to Christmas Eve. And how great that will be because after all what is Christmas without a baby? And how sad she is because my sister is not coming for Christmas and thus deriving my mom of grandkids on this child-centric day.

I could barely get home from the store. I'm not sure how I will get through the week home if this keeps up.

Still here

Hey everyone,
Sorry for the extended absence. I did get pretty down with our last cycle not working and my travel schedule messing up our plans for the cycle in December. I tried to distract myself by throwing myself into work. And then I had a major disaster on my work project. So I've had my mine on other things.

But now things have changed. So that major disaster I mentioned? The small silver lining is that my travel has now been canceled. Now we are all set to go on another cycle in a few weeks. I just ordered more meds today and am trying to be optimistic about it.

I have been reading your blogs, even if not commenting. But now I am re-engaging.