Monday, October 18, 2010


Well, I've had more spotting all weekend and today and all my other usual pre-AF signs. So I'm calling this cycle a bust. Here's hoping the third time's the charm. We are taking a break this next month because of our travel schedules. I'm quite jealous that my husband gets to go to Turkey without me, though.

Yesterday was a hard day at church as well. The readings and homily were about being persistent in prayer. I have to admit that this is something I have a hard time with. I've been praying to get pregnant for a long time and it seems the answer is "no", "not now", or at least "not this way". And to be honest this makes we wonder about the purpose of praying. I do believe that God provides what we need and even if prayers are answered in ways we didn't really ask for they come in God's own way. I also believe that it is better to pray for peace or acceptance of God's will rather than anything specific. So I am left not really sure what to pray for persistently. I mean, if God answers prayers in his own way in his own time, then why ask for anything?


  1. Missy, I'm so sorry that AF's arrival appears to be pending. Try to relax during your month off so you can get back to it later more refreshed. (((hugs)))

  2. I've been down that road of struggling in prayer too, and the conclusion I came to is that its (at least in part) for me/us. I give my problems to God because I shouldn't be stressing about them, and its better for me to keep giving them to him even if the answer is never what I want. Phil 4:6-7 ends with ... the peace that passes understanding will guard your heart and mind...

    So I pray, even without results, because it gives me peace knowing that its in control even if I don't understand it. :) Hope that helps you, because it helped me a lot.

    Oh, and my main prayer requests are guidance about next steps, and that I become a mother when I am supposed to. :-)

  3. Missy--I'm so so sorry that this cycle is looking like a bust.

    I'm not a religious person, but I would consider myself a spiritual one. I agree that praying for acceptance, and using prayer as a way to focus on gratitude for the blessings you do have, are a good way to go.

    When we were TTCing, I had a hard time meditating because I found myself hoping over and over that we would get pregnant, so it was hard to quiet my mind and let the energy work where it needed to and not where I thought it needed to--so I feel like it is similar. In the end, focusing on acceptance and gratitude helped me a lot. I definitely ended up in a place where I felt like I was giving myself over to God's Will, and it was a much more peaceful place (if a somewhat tenuous one).


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