Wednesday, May 25, 2011


One of my favorite stores is Pott.ery Ba.rn. Most of the furniture in our house (at least the newer stuff that we've gotten now that we have some money) is all from there. So of course now that we are transitioning from the homestudy to a waiting family, we made our first venture into the kids edition of the store.

And then we quickly made our way back out. You see, that store is not made for adoptive families. At least not those who are open to a child of either gender. Your options are girly-girl or very boy. Nothing in between. I think there was a green ruffle you could use on a crib that was otherwise all pink. A little contrast can be a good thing, after all. But that was about it. No options at all for someone who won't know the gender of the baby. I am actually tempted to write to them and point out how they are missing a key group.

The thing is, even if we could know the gender with enough notice to make a trip to that store, I still wouldn't want to go so far to impose strong gender norms on my child at such a young age. Society will have plenty of time for that. This is actually something I like about becoming a parent through adoption: we won't be bombarded with pink or blue! At least not in advance. I know too many couples who had nothing but pink or blue clothes, blankets, towels, etc. Not to mention the dolls or cars/trucks, even before the child is born. Pregnant women can decide not to know the gender, but so few people actually wait. I like that if any friends or family want to buy us baby things before a baby is here, they can't impose gender norms on the child pre-birth.

So that's why I read this story with interest. Apparently some parents are not revealing their new baby's gender. While these parents are going a little extreme, I can understand where they are coming from.


  1. So with you on the gender! Besides, what if you end up having multiple kids of different don't want to have to buy all this stuff again. The Internet is your friend for gender neutral stuff. Ohdeedoh has great ideas that lean away from the hyperstereotyped nursery, and Dwell Studio at Target has neutral stuff. I like lime green, red, or turquoise (not altogether!) for gender neutral color schemes. You can always accent with masculine or feminine touches when the baby arrives. Don't be discouraged. This is the fun part!

  2. Also totally with you! I think what that family is doing is pretty interesting--and people's problems with it are even more interesting! I have yet to decorate a kids room either but I think I'm planning a forest mural with birds and animals--totally gender neutral.

  3. Congratulations on making that transition. I hope that your wait is short, and that you can also find ways to amuse yourself. :) On this post in particular, it is interesting for us because we aren't even sure what age our child will be, so we probably won't have a shower till we get back from our first trip to Ghana and can say sizes etc.

    On the movie post, thanks for sharing my frustration. :-D


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