Thursday, July 9, 2009

Happy Anniversary

I've always been someone who likes to be in control. So that's why I started charting my cycles 18 months ago, even before we starting trying to have a baby. And that's why when my primary care doctor offered to give me a referral to an RE when we had only been trying for 6 months, I jumped at it. Yes, I know you can't really have an IF diagnosis until you've been trying for one year. Sometimes couples are just really unlucky and it could take up to a year.

But the offer was given and I took it. Several weeks later the RE confirmed what I had noticed in my charting: that my cycles are not very regular. We also got hubby's semen analysis back and that left much to be desired. So the treatments started.

But somewhere in the back of my head I thought we couldn't really be infertile if we haven't tried for a year. Maybe it was just really bad luck. Yes, I have irregular cycles, but I still ovulate on my own and since the RE called it "unexplained" then maybe it's just bad luck or bad timing. Yes, the hubster had a poor semen analysis, but his second one was much better, so maybe that was just a fluke.

While we did start some medications, I have been hesitant to go all in because I wanted to wait. This one year timeline seemed like a big bright line that we hadn't crossed yet. As I joined the blogging community, I was hesitant to join in some conversations thinking that those going through IF for an extended period of time wouldn't want to hear from me. Less than one year? That's not even infertile.

Last year we had big plans to start trying for a baby in August. This date was carefully planned because we thought of course it would happen right away and were trying to plan when when the baby was born. I had gone off the pill l months earlier so I could chart my cycles and have more control over it. Our plan was to use other forms of BC until August. But then our vacation started on July 4th and continued on through our anniversary. And apparently we didn't communicate about who would pack the birth control. And there we found ourselves on our vacation--on our anniversary--with no birth control and my knowledge that I was fertile. So we thought, screw it. What difference does one month make?

The result of all of this is that now our wedding anniversary corresponds with our TTC anniversary. So, umm, happy anniversary?


  1. I hope next year when your anniversary date comes that you and DH are celebrating with a new addition or expecting a new addition and TTC will be nothing more than a memory.

  2. happy anniversary..:) fingers crossed that the next year brings an end to this phase. And for what it's worth...we had a diagnosis of extreme male infertility and a failed varicocelectomy and I still refused to believe that we were going to need a little (or a lot) of help. Hope is a good thing.

  3. Happy wedding anniversary. I wish that you didn't hit that mark with TTC. It sucks.

  4. Happy Anniversary... sending hopes and prayers that this time next year you will be celebrating not only a wedding anniversary, but the birth of a little one!

    And as for not being infertile until you've been trying for a year... I think that really only counts if you are ttc for a year without educating yourself. Recognizing that you have varying cycles and that there may be something wrong BEFORE that one year mark doesn't mean that you aren't infertile. Infertility doesn't magically happen after one year. I commend you for being proactive and I want you to know that your voice is just as valid and just as needed in our conversations.

    Ooops, sorry for the long comment!

  5. Happy wedding Anniversary, Missy... I hate that this milestone - the *other* craptastic anniversary - has come for you :/ I hope next year you will be celebrating your next wedding anniversary with a healthy baby in your belly or on your hip :)

  6. Happy anniversary, although sorry for the TTC anniversary...

    I can relate to SO MUCH of your post. I started charting about a year before we would TTC...sent DH in for an SA at 8 months TTC...didn't know if we counted as "really infertile" because it wasn't a year....

  7. Well, I wish you a happy anniversary on the good bits, and a hope that on your next, you'll have someone extra to celebrate with you!

    - Molly


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