One of the things that makes infertility so hard is that there are so many complicated feelings. I have friends and family who are announcing their pregnancies, sharing ultrasound pictures, and giving birth. I am happy for them. Truly. I care about them and want to share in their joy.
But then there's the jealousy. Why can't that be me? When will we have a chance to make a big announcement? The realization that this process will take us much longer brings on a wave of sadness. And a good dose of guilt for feeling jealous.
Dancing in the Rain…
5 years ago
Don't feel guilty!
ReplyDeleteYou don't actually wish that they -weren't- pregnant, you just wish that you could also be experiencing pregnancy. Those aren't bad or negative feelings.
I think it is natural to feel some anger and jealousy and I don't know how people could possibly not have these feelings. The important thing is that you remember that there will be a baby at the end of all of this for you.
I just try to remind myself that when it does actually happen I will be SO SO excited and happy that the waiting will have been worth it. Sometimes it works... sometimes it doesn't ;)
I feel the same way sometimes, Missy. And, I'll just go ahead and admit it: my jealousy is ~so~ strong that I actually ~do~ wish that they weren't pregnant. And then comes the wave of guilt I feel for feeling that... ah, what a complicated cycle it is.
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