Here is a dilemma regarding preparing for adoption that I don't know what to do about. Every piece of advice I get says to not have a baby shower until after a baby is here. Or at the very least a match. And from what I can tell from my family, it is hard for them to get excited in the abstract. In the brief few days we had a match, people were talking about buying us all kinds of stuff. But then all the excitement died down. And for good reason as I didn't want to think about the failed match either. But now I want to start preparing again. My MIL purchased a few "big" items when we had a match and she said the rest of the things she will buy for us are clothes and smaller, more personal things. And with repeated prompting, I was able to get my mom to buy us a crib. I say repeated prompting because when we had a match, she volunteered to buy us a crib. We had not yet picked one out before the match fell through, so she never did. But we did put together a registry and it took a few times mentioning it before she got the idea that we do still want to buy a few big items. So now we have a car seat and a crib.
But there are a couple of other bigger items that I want, such as a glider chair. I could imagine some family members pulling resources together to buy one for us. But they won't come up with that idea on their own until a baby shower is planned. And yet I will want one sooner rather than later, especially since BRU says it can take a month after the order is placed to get it. I know there are few things you need in those first few weeks, but if a shower does happen for the first month or so, and then it takes a month to get here, that is a long period of time. Plus, knowing myself, I will already feel bad about now being able to breastfeed, I want to at least be able to rock my baby. So I am tempted to just buy the glider myself.
Dancing in the Rain…
5 years ago
We bought our glider ourselves from BRU. It took longer to get than a month. We waited to have our showers and some of them we bought the baby too and some we didn't. I just didn't want a room full of baby stuff since I didn't know how long it would take. We bought everything we would need to leave on short notice (btw we had two days notice once we officially got the match). Will you be traveling out of state most likely? Good luck- hope your wait is not much longer!!
ReplyDeleteAdoptive nursing is possible (unless you have some physical reason for not being able to do so). During your weight period I would suggest talking to a LLL leader or an LC and DR (there are medications you can take to promote lactation). I hope your wait is not too much longer.
ReplyDeleteI'd say buy the glider and let them buy things that can wait a bit longer. Less stress, worry and you know it will be there when you get that wonderful call!
ReplyDeleteI also say buy the glider now - it's not like you can't use it in the meantime and it will be invaluable to have in the first days and weeks and months of baby's life. I hope the wait isn't much longer, Missy!
ReplyDeleteI'd say buy the glider. But I'd personally hold off on anything else. I now have 3 huge tubs for a baby boy who isn't joinin our family from our failed placement to stare at and it only makes the waiting worse for me!
ReplyDeleteI'd say buy the glider. But I'd personally hold off on anything else. I now have 3 huge tubs for a baby boy who isn't joinin our family from our failed placement to stare at and it only makes the waiting worse for me!
ReplyDeleteIt took two months for our glider to come in so it might be a good idea to order it now. It has become part of our family room furniture though when we move to our home next week it will go in our daughter's room. I don't have the room in our apartment right now but since she will have her own room in about a week it can go there. We found one that will blend with our furniture so when we don't need it for her we can make it part of our family room again. Good luck and hope the wait is not too much longer!
ReplyDeleteHi Missy,
ReplyDeleteI agree, it's kind of a dilemma. There's no clear road map for this kind of thing.
After thinking over several different possibilities, we decided to buy our "day one" essentials ourselves. We did share our registry with our parents, and they got us some small things for Christmas, but we have bought most of it. For us, that included a glider, because I felt like I wanted one right away as soon as we come home. But we don't have a crib or a big stroller yet (just the little one to put the care seat into), and we don't think we'll use those things until later.
We pretty much have everything we need to get started at this point, and shortly after we bring the baby home, we want to plan a huge welcome home/baby shower party. We're hoping for some gifts then.
I hope it's helpful to hear what we decided, but I know every situation is different, so you really just have to do what feels right for you. Wishing you a very short wait!! xoxoxo