Attorney dilemma

We have a dilemma about our adoption attorney. When we ask anyone associated with adoption in our area, they all mention Mr. X as far and away the best adoption lawyer in the area. No need to go to anyone else. Keep in mind that since we are going through an agency, what we need from a lawyer is someone to handle the legal issues themselves, not someone who will find us a match. We spoke with several adoption lawyers in our state and while a few said, "sure I'll take your profile just in case," they made it clear that they don't really handle the matching or placement side of things, just the legal issues of terminating parental rights, ICPC, finalization, etc. But still all the adoption professionals and other adoptive parents we know in this area all say to work with Mr. X.

But then there is Mrs. Y. She's a good friend. And a lawyer. Who has a dream of focusing on adoption law. See my dilemma? She is also a new lawyer, which makes things more complicated. I mean, if she had more experience, we would probably feel more comfortable having her as our lawyer despite the rave reviews for Mr. X. But she is a newbie and I don't want to be the case in which she makes a newbie mistake. But since she is so new, she is also in the process of setting up her practice. This means that she ends up doing much work for free so she can make connections that then lead to paying jobs. But making this transition has been difficult. And as her friend, I am on the receiving end of hearing how she is struggling financially and trying to find paying clients. And I am at a loss as to what to do. As her friend, of course I want to help her out and want to be her sounding board. But as someone in need of legal assistance, I'm not sure I feel comfortable using her. And that makes me feel like a horrible friend.

P.S. There is no update about our potential match.

Holiday update

Well, I guess if I put off the run-down of my holiday any longer, I might as well not even write it. I'll just focus on the highlights.

First highlight: D1sneyl@nd! We had tons of fun, even in the rain. The return of Captain EO was a great surprise.

The highlight of my Christmas at home is usually Cookie Day. Some years I think this day is even more fun than Christmas itself. Ever since I can remember, my grandmother would take an entire day, a few days before Christmas Eve, to bake sugar cookies with her grandchildren. We would cut out the cookies and bake them in the morning, break for a pizza lunch, and then decorate them with frosting and sprinkles in the afternoon. And then we would pick out the cookies we wanted to take home and my grandma would give each of us our yearly ornament. It's a great tradition. And one where it seemed every part of the day this year was designed to upset me.

It started with my 23 year old cousin making us start at 7pm rather than 10am like we usually do because he couldn't get off work and insisted he be there for the entire process. My grandmother doesn't like disappointing anyone so we didn't start until after dinner. Then my cousin arrived, cut out about 3 cookies and got bored and moved on to something else. My other cousin took that day to announce she was working on Christmas Eve and so was not going to be at our family Christmas celebration. This cousin is still in high school working at a retail job, so it was a surprise that she couldn't come. As the grandchild most into baking and the oldest in attendance, it fell on me to help the little kids roll and cut out the cookies when everyone else lost interest. So there I was overseeing the cute little kids (my cousin's kids) and wondering if I would ever get to do this with my own kids. A short while later my uncle is giving my high school age cousin a hard time about getting old and what will happen in 30 years. I just start to see a long life with no kids flash before me and had to leave the room. To make it even worse, my family spent the next three days (including Christmas!) asking me why I was in a bad mood on cookie day.

Except for the questions, Christmas and Christmas Eve were pretty nice. Christmas day is actually pretty relaxing in our family as most of the celebration is on Christmas Eve. My main present was a pressure canner! Stay tuned for reading about my adventures in canning.

My mom also had a separate dinner party before Christmas with some of her friends. My mom is a lesbian so her friends are all same sex couples. Her friends were nice, but it was a little odd that my mom spent most of my visit home making sure we met up with her friends, rather than my friends. But even in a group of middle aged same sex couples, I can't escape discussions of family planning as one couple was slightly younger, recently had a commitment ceremony, and were planning on getting pregnant.

We returned home before New Year's and since my sister and her family did not come to CA for Christmas (and also my in-laws), we hosted them at our house for dinner on New Year's Day. We also had some good friends over and it was a very good dinner. One friend is starting a law practice and several of us were asking her about the difficulties of starting your own practice as a new lawyer. She mentioned some financial difficulties since she has to work for free sometimes while she builds her reputation and resume. Someone asked her what type of law she would focus on if money was not an issue. I'll give you one guess. Adoption law. I'm telling you, there is no escape! This did at least give us some laughs as hubby and I were talking afterward about whether we would want her as our adoption lawyer. Good to know her going rate is free right now. ;)