Interviews

Today I had conversations with two home study agencies. I originally thought these organizations were also placement agencies, but it turns they don't work directly with birthmothers. They handle the home study and post placements and give us advice on finding a placement agency and other things to do to find a placement.

Just chatting with them for a few minutes gave me much more insight into this whole process and I think I learned some things regardless of whether we end up using them. So in all it was a productive day in terms of our adoption progress. I am starting to less like I am in way over my head. We still have many more people/agencies to talk to before making a decision, though.

One thing both agencies told me today is that the key to finding a placement relatively quickly is telling everyone we know that we are adopting. Especially people who work in schools or hospitals or similar organizations. The idea is that you never know when someone will hear about a friend's cousin (or whatever) who has an unexpected pregnancy and might be considering adoption. I understand that, but it does make me a little nervous just because it turns the whole zone of silence that accompanies infertility on its head. Not that being infertile should ever be a source of shame, but yet that is how I experienced it. It was not something to discuss even with close family members. Let alone everyone on my Twitter feed. I need to find a way to change that.

We're coming out...

We spent the weekend in Di.sney1and with my mom, her partner, gramma, and aunt (and some cousins). They knew we have been TTC without success for some time, but not much more than that. I don't tell my mom because she stresses me out with all her questions. But now that we are thinking of moving on from treatments, we wanted to tell them what we have been doing and where we are now. It's funny because just talking about it and saying it out loud to someone other than each other makes "thinking about adoption" turn into "we are adopting." It is scary but exciting at the same time. They had a great reaction. My aunt is very over the top and was grabbing the wine bottle to fill up for a toast. My mom said that she has a coworker who flew out the day her daughter had a placement just like you fly out for a baby. So I was happy with how the conversation went. The only negative comment was my mom's partner who said we should get a kid already housebroken when we talked briefly about getting a baby or older child. Of course, she routinely talks about my nieces and nephews as pets that need to be trained, so her comments on children are usually ignored anyway.

I guess what I am feeling the most now is relief. I'm not sure if that is normal, but I feel glad that we have a plan now. There are still many decisions to figure out, but I think this is a good decision for us. I am also feeling anxious to get home so we can start researching the path ahead.

In other news, I spent the weekend reminding myself of good things that come from not being pregnant. First on the list? Spa.ce Moun.tain!