Teeth

So I had planned to update my blog more often, but then my Internet decided to go down for three days. It is still not fixed, but this gives me the perfect chance to try out blogging from my phone, right? ( and of course as I was typing that, I hit some microphone option by mistake, I hope there is not some random recording on this!)

Back to what I wanted to discuss today. Teeth. Boy does this boy have them. He is only 9 months old and the fifth tooth is already breaking through. This is one kid who does not need to ask for his two front teeth for Christmas.

The funny thing is that despite all these teeth, he won't eat a thing. I've read that babies may refuse food temporarily when teething. But he is moving from one tooth to another that he is pretty much always teething. I'm dreading the one year molars, which I'm convinced will be here early like all the others!


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Rooting for the evil witch

One thing about being a parent through adoption is that I am overly sensitive to the portrayal of adoption in the media-both news media and various forms of fiction. I think that's one reason why Ann Patchett is one of my favorite authors. Starting with her debut novel about a home where pregnant young women were sent away to give birth in the 1950s, much of her work has incorporated themes surrounding adoption. (Of course, I first became interested in her work before our IF journey started, so maybe that doesn't explain my interest in her work.) Her work is too complex to label it as either "pro" or "anti" adoption, but she often returns to themes about how strangers come together to form families due to unique circumstances.

But many of the adoption-related themes in the media reinforce the idea that biology trumps all in forming "real" families. And this is one theme that has held me back from completely embracing the otherwise great show of Once Upon a Time. In case you haven't been watching this show, all the standard fairy tale characters have a second identity in the real world. In the first season, the real-life version of the characters had no recollection of their fairy tale characters even as some traits persisted. There are a few key new characters and twists in the new lives of classic characters. First, Snow White and Prince Charming have a daughter, who is now grown and apparently destined to lift the curse that created their second identity. This daughter, Emma, had a son (Henry) that she placed for adoption when he was a baby. And guess who adopted him? The wicked witch/queen (as in the one who gave Snow White the cursed apple).

While I didn't relish the idea of the adoptive mother as the evil witch, I thought the adoption theme was well done in the first season. There was tension as Emma started to develop a relationship with Henry, but you also got the sense that maybe things would have been much smoother if they weren't also battling for the lives of all the fairy tale characters in the town. And while Emma was attached to Henry, she was also visibly uncomfortable when he kept calling her his mother. But the second season has gone much further down the road of implying that Henry doesn't belong in his adoptive family at all. To the extent that I started rooting for the evil queen! Has Henry's life been so horrible that he has no soft spot for the woman who raised him?

The last episode was supposed to have a happy ending. Snow White and Prince Charming and Emma and Henry were finally reunited to be one big happy family. But I found myself reeling along with the evil queen and wishing the story had a different ending. She finally did the right thing and was rewarded by being pushed aside and reminded that she can't possibly be Henry's mother. The worst moment was when someone actually commented on how she reunited mother and son even as she saw her son run into another woman's arms. Please-let the evil queen have a happy ending too!

My Favorite Traditions

I love traditions. Traditions unite us with the past, serving as reminders that we are part of something bigger than ourselves. So this is my favorite time of year, when daily life is filled with so many traditions. This year, I am especially looking forward to sharing our family traditions with Seven and starting new ones that we can cherish together.

In my family, Christmas actually starts a day or two before Christmas Eve. That is when my grandmother hosts her annual cookie day for all the grandchildren. She started this with my sister and I when I was just a baby. We start with rolling out the dough and cutting the shapes at the counter while my grandmother oversees the oven. After a pizza lunch, we move to the table and break out the frosting and sprinkles to decorate the cookies. With the work done, we used to start snooping under the tree to identify our presents. Now that we are older, the suspense of wrapped presents is easier to endure but we still love re-enacting the snooping. The day ends with my grandmother giving each of us an ornament.

Cookie Day has grown over the years from just me, my sister, and grandmother to include my younger cousins and, eventually, our children. Since E and I got married, we rotate where we spend Christmas and thus I only go to every other Cookie Day. Two years ago, fresh off a failed cycle, I couldn't make it through the day without breaking down. I was at one of my lowest points in this infertility journey. I only saw the darkness and loneliness of infertility. I could not see an end to the journey.

This year, I will get to introduce my son to my favorite tradition. But now I realize that being a mother is not an end, but a whole new beginning. I want to start our own traditions with my husband and son that are special just for us. I want to find ways to incorporate my son's culture to our holiday traditions. I am very excited for the next month or so and know that even if things don't go perfectly, there is always a way to adapt traditions to the unexpected.

Well, that was different

Sorry I've been silent for so long. I don't really have a good excuse so I won't make one up! I have still been reading but am waiting for some inspiration to strike to post.

Seven is so adorable right now. He is crawling around everywhere and pulling himself up. It is amazing how mobile he has gotten in just the last week. He's been doing the army crawl for a while and could move short distances, but now he is following us down hallways. His increased mobility also means he is discovering all sorts of interesting things around our house. The most recent example is that he got into the little rocks that are in the fireplace.

Something did happen in the last few days that shook us pretty well. We've been continuing to exchange emails with M and sharing pictures of Seven. Her responses are usually brief and don't say much about her. Mostly just how much she loves Seven and how cute he is. And then one day she sent a long update about how she is doing in school, how her kids are doing, etc.

At the end, she dropped something big that we don't know how to deal with. It is not bad news per se, but it just changes so much of what we thought we knew. And it was one of those things that made us want to envelope Seven with hugs at the thought of having to explain this to him one day. We are still processing it and figuring out how to respond.

Finalized

Well, that was anti-climatic. I've been bugging our lawyer regularly to figure out why the court is basically not doing anything. You may remember that the court never gave the order to terminate the birthfather's rights even though the 30 day waiting period expired, oh, in June. I've been getting really anxious, first that the court might do something funny. And then that we might not finalize in 2012 and lose the tax credit.

So today I made my regular call to the lawyer for an update. These calls have gotten tense as he never has an update and thinks that contacting the court once a week is too pushy. So when he called me back this morning and said he had good news, I was expecting him to say that the birthfather's rights were finally terminated. But he went one better. Our final decree is on its way!

It was surprising but also exciting. After calling E with the good news, I went to go give Seven some love (his daycare is a one minute walk from my office). He was taking a nap, so I came back later and he was in such a cuddling mood. He is so happy and loving. We went out for a family dinner and, more importantly, a celebratory ice cream. Today was a good day!

Sweet potatoes

We get tons of sweet potatoes from our CSA. Here's what I do with them.

1. Wash them well.

2. Poke them with a fork and roll in foil.

3. Bake at 400 degrees for about 45 minutes or until soft.

4. Let it partially cool, scrape out inside.

5. Mash in food processor. Add enough water to get desired consistency.

6. Freeze.

7. Enjoy!

Doctors and Daycare

OK, sorry for falling off the earth. I have no real excuse. Except, you know, the whole 7 month old thing. He is doing very well, not quite crawling yet. He is currently on an eating strike, but in general he is doing well with new foods.

My long-time readers may recall my bad relationship with my doctor. If not, you can familiarize yourself here. Maybe bad relationship is too strong, but we didn't get off to a great start and it's always a pain to get an appointment.

But apparently I have a new avenue to actually see her. I can just go to Seven's daycare. You see, we had a party at his daycare this evening where all the parents came. I know all the other kids pretty well. And I know some parents who happen to have similar schedules as me and we see each other during the drop off or pick up. But for one little boy, his father is the primary dropper-offer and so I had never met his mother. But guess who showed up at the party tonight! And then I had to introduce her to E, who gets all my rants about doctor visits.

It was a fun party, though. And I spent a good portion of time talking about adoption without feeling odd. First, one mother commented on Seven's hair (OK, they all did) and asked if the old wives tale about babies with lots of hair and reflux was true. I had never heard that before and responded that he didn't have bad reflux. And then she said that the old wives tale is about me having reflux while pregnant. So I had to explain, but it seemed natural. Another baby in the class is adopted and so we shared stories. And my doctor wanted to know how the induced lactation went and other parents wanted to hear about that.

I am at this odd place now where it is starting to feel natural to talk about Seven being adopted at relevant times (as when someone assumes I was pregnant like this party) but then afterwards spend a large amount of time going over the conversation in my head. Don't get me wrong, I don't bring up the adoption all the time, but there are times when it seems appropriate and odd to let someone assume I was pregnant. But it seems weird that it seems so natural at the moment, but then I spend so much time thinking about it. I don't know, I guess this is all just new to get used to.